The Top 5 Secrets to Flirting Successfully

May 14th, 2008

In the matchmaking world, we see day in and day out what makes people successful in their dating lives. 

Frequently, individuals are passive in their approach to making a connection to others while dating.  Healthy flirting is the best way to “send signals” to the people you date to get them to open up, feel comfortable, and let them know the real you. 

Everyone can learn to become a successful flirter.  You don’t want to be too over-the-top, but you want to show interest in your date as a person and take a few calculated risks to show your fun side, so they feel comfortable doing the same.    

The Top 5 Secrets to Flirting Successfully are:

 1)      Be Playful – Be sure you’re not using your job interview skills on a date.  This is your time to relax a little.  Ask a few fun questions and tell an interesting story about yourself.  Show your witty side and your sense of humor.

 2)      Make Effective Eye Contact – Everyone thinks they make good eye contact.  The truth is in a social situation, to look comfortable, you should hold your gaze for a 3 second period.  It may seem long, but it shows attentiveness.

  3)      Laugh a Little – Doesn’t everyone love to laugh?  Yet, on many first dates, it seems that people are too reserved to laugh.  Laughter breaks down any uncomfortable walls that are up and helps form a connection between two people.

 4)      It’s All About Body LanguageAmy Lindquist (our Image Consultant) and Christa Surerus (our Relationship Success Coach) both state that over 70% of how people are perceived is non-verbal.  What we are doing on the outside speaks volumes about what is going on on the inside.  Be sure to keep your body language “open.”  Face your date, keep your arms open, and have a positive look on your face.

 5)      Ask Them Questions About Themselves – Balancing conversation is SO important on a date.  A great way to be sure to do that is by asking your date interesting questions about themselves.  Ask something that you really want to know the answer to.  People like to talk about themselves and it gives them a feeling of importance.  Your question to them also makes you endearing to them.  Remember, it’s better to be “interested” than “interesting.”

Happy, Successful Flirting.


Entry Filed under: Relationships